There are a few things in my life that I have not quite figured out… actually, there are more than a few… but one of the things that I know Papa (I refer to God the Father as Papa) has been working out of me the past few years is guilt and shame. For me, in order to get rid of the guilt in shame in my life I have had to have really vulnerable conversations. Most of the conversations did not relate to any person specifically, but more of things that I have been struggling with my life that I had never told anyone. Because I was afraid of what they would think of me once they knew.
Over the past year, I wrote a book detailing the events of my dad being diagnosed with cancer until a year and a half or so after he died. The book will be released in August 19, 2018. This book was not written like normal books, I sat down with a journal and wrote out the entire book by hand. As I was writing the book I wasn’t thinking of the book, I was thinking about my heart pouring onto the pages as though it was a journal that only I would read. I actually recall a couple of times when I wrote something and then questioned whether I should really write it because other people would read it.
What would my family think? What would my friends think? But when it came down to it, I experienced so much healing by writing the book because I was open, authentic, vulnerable, and I didn’t hold back the feelings that I was rehashing. I realized in the writing process that I am a writer, and I need to be able to express my thoughts via words… whether they are typed or handwritten. It isn’t about people reading what I am writing, but about me being able to experience healing through the public display of vulnerability.
Am I saying that everyone needs to air all of their deep dark secrets for the world to read? Nope. But I did feel a strong pull to be vulnerable and start this blog. I have tried to start blogs numerous of times, and after a few months I would quit writing. However, I never had a plan for the blog, it was just a place to put my thoughts. I have a “plan” for this one… I want to help you become more vulnerable with those around you so that you can overcome guilt and shame.
Join me on my journey of becoming free from guilt and shame. Each week I will post a new blog about something else that I am shameful of. Sometimes it may seem really goofy, while other times it may seem like something I shouldn’t broadcast… it’s those that you should understand that I am wanting to conquer guilt and shame and not allow them to rule my life. I’m not going to ask you to broadcast your shameful places online, but I will challenge you to find at least one person that you are willing to share those things with so that you are able to experience the freedom that comes with opening up.
Don’t allow guilt and shame to rule your life. Let’s take them down together!